Chaptor One

Naruto_VII · Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 122

When girls don't put out!!

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Have a
sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every
boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled
look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do
for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that
night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each
outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I
blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,

"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,

"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either .